Russell Byrne takes us on a remarkable journey from childhood struggles with stuttering and shyness to finding temporary solace in alcohol, then ultimately discovering his true calling as a compassionate counsellor working with society’s most marginalized individuals. This conversation reveals how personal wounds can transform into powerful healing gifts when coupled with courage and compassion.
At fourteen, Russell discovered alcohol as a way to overcome his social anxiety and feel accepted. What began as a social lubricant eventually developed into a dependency that threatened his relationships – until a profound experience at an AA meeting sparked lasting change. “I had a real emotional kind of catharsis… I never drank again,” he shares with disarming honesty about the moment that altered his life’s trajectory fifteen years ago.
What makes Russell’s approach to therapy truly extraordinary is his commitment to radical acceptance. Working in prison systems and rehabilitation centres, he deliberately avoids reading case files so he can meet each person without preconceptions. Even when confronted with individuals who had committed horrific offenses, Russell maintained his capacity for compassion: “I went in there, sat in front of him, and I had no judgment… I could still feel a deep connection.” This approach created unprecedented safe spaces where vulnerability and authentic connection could flourish among men who had never experienced positive emotional bonds.
The conversation explores how Russell’s Buddhist practice parallels and enhances his therapeutic work by developing his capacity for presence and non-judgment. Rather than relying on clinical manuals or academic knowledge, his effectiveness stems from authenticity and a willingness to create space for others’ humanity to emerge. A former inmate once told him while sharing their first hug: “I’ve never hugged a man in my life, even my father” – a poignant testament to the transformative power of genuine connection.
Listen as Russell reflects on his continuing struggle with self-worth and finding value in himself – the dragon he continues to slay with compassion. His journey reminds us that healing is never a destination but rather an ongoing process of becoming more fully ourselves and helping others do the same.
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Presenter
Malcolm Stern has worked as a group and individual psychotherapist for more than 30 years. He was a co-founder of Alternatives at St James’s Church in London and runs groups internationally.
He is the author of Falling in Love / Staying in Love (Piatkus 2004) and Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020). He co-presented Channel 4’s relationship series, ‘Made for Each Other’ in 2003 and 2004 and sailed on the ‘Rainbow Warrior’ with Greenpeace in the 1980s. The book he is currently writing is an exploration of the shadow and its necessity in our evolutionary development.
Malcolm Stern in conversation with guests overcoming & thriving through adversity.
