Malcolm Stern takes a moment to reflect on the extraordinary journey of the “Slay Your Dragons with Compassion” podcast series in this special episode recorded during Podcast-thon. Born from the profound grief following his daughter Melissa’s suicide, the podcast has evolved into a sanctuary where stories of transformation through adversity inspire both host and listeners alike.
With over 50 episodes now recorded, Malcolm shares how these conversations have deepened his own practice as a therapist and human being. From Joe Berry, who lectures with her father’s murderer on forgiveness, to an armed robber turned mentor, to a paralyzed cricketer finding new purpose – each guest has demonstrated the remarkable human capacity to dig deep for resources when tragedy strikes. Malcolm notes that these exchanges have stopped being mere interviews and become genuine dialogues about life’s most profound questions.
What emerges throughout this reflection is the concept of “sangha” – the Buddhist term for communion with like-minded others. In our increasingly disconnected world, Malcolm sees the podcast as creating supportive communities where wisdom can be shared and hearts opened. As he poignantly observes, “It’s impossible to be a human being in this world and not suffer, because our very sensitivity puts us in touch with the suffering of the world. But in the midst of suffering is also joy.” This understanding – that joy and pain are inseparable companions – forms the beating heart of the podcast’s purpose.
Now in his mid-70s, Malcolm speaks of moving beyond career considerations to focus on work that deepens relationships and challenges him to bring his best self forward. The podcast has become not just a platform for inspiring stories, but a practice in itself – a regular opportunity to engage deeply with another human being and, in the process, with himself. What greater gift could there be in these challenging times than finding ways to make our “one wild and precious life” truly meaningful?
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Malcolm Stern has worked as a group and individual psychotherapist for more than 30 years. He was a co-founder of Alternatives at St James’s Church in London and runs groups internationally.
He is the author of Falling in Love / Staying in Love (Piatkus 2004) and Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020). He co-presented Channel 4’s relationship series, ‘Made for Each Other’ in 2003 and 2004 and sailed on the ‘Rainbow Warrior’ with Greenpeace in the 1980s. The book he is currently writing is an exploration of the shadow and its necessity in our evolutionary development.
To become equal to the dream sewn within us, our heart must break open and usually must break more than once. That’s why they say that the only heart worth having is a broken heart. For only in breaking can it open fully and reveal what is hidden within.” – Michael Meade
This is a series of podcasts based on the premise explored in Malcolm Stern’s acclaimed book of the same name, that adversity provides us with the capacity to develop previously unexplored depths and is , in effect , a crucible for self reflection and awareness. Malcolm lost his daughter Melissa to suicide in 2014. It slowly dawned on him over the following few years that he was being educated and an opportunity was being presented where new insights helped him forge a path through his grief and despair. As part of that cathartic journey, he wrote “ Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020 ) where he was able to describe some of the practices that had helped him shed light on a way through the darkness.
