A heart-stopping conversation with Chukumeka Maxwell takes us deep into the landscape of human suffering and transcendence. Born to a Nigerian father and Jamaican mother, Chukumeka’s early life was marked by dramatic upheaval when civil war in Nigeria led to his father’s imprisonment and his own evacuation back to England at age seven. The trauma was so severe his hair and skin turned completely grey until his twenties.
What transforms suffering into wisdom? For Chukumeka, it’s been his passionate work in suicide prevention since 2015. “Most people are wanting to die, but they don’t know how to live,” he observes, a perspective that deeply resonates with host Malcolm Stern, who lost his daughter Melissa to suicide. Both men share the conviction that prevention isn’t about judgment but helping people find meaning through their darkest moments.
The conversation takes an extraordinary turn as Chukumeka reveals his own recent battle with endocarditis, leading to open-heart surgery, metal valve replacements, and ongoing cardiac complications. Despite this two-year health crisis, he speaks with remarkable grace about embracing medical intervention despite his natural resistance to antibiotics, finding authentic connection with his doctors, and navigating his teenage daughter’s fear of losing him.
Throughout our journey together, Chukumeka weaves profound insights about race, identity, and the limitations of tribal thinking. Having experienced boarding school, professional life as a Black man in predominantly white spaces, and multiple cultural worlds, he challenges us to break free from the “spells” of separation. When asked what dragon he’s had to slay to become fully himself, his answer comes without hesitation: “Hatred.”
This episode offers a masterclass in resilience and authentic living. As Chukumeka puts it, “Each day is a holy day” – an invitation to practice self-compassion, acceptance, and seeing everyone we meet as connected to ourselves. Whether you’re facing health challenges, grappling with loss, or simply seeking to live more authentically, this conversation will touch your heart and expand your vision of what’s possible.
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Presenter
Malcolm Stern has worked as a group and individual psychotherapist for more than 30 years. He was a co-founder of Alternatives at St James’s Church in London and runs groups internationally.
He is the author of Falling in Love / Staying in Love (Piatkus 2004) and Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020). He co-presented Channel 4’s relationship series, ‘Made for Each Other’ in 2003 and 2004 and sailed on the ‘Rainbow Warrior’ with Greenpeace in the 1980s. The book he is currently writing is an exploration of the shadow and its necessity in our evolutionary development.
Malcolm Stern in conversation with guests overcoming & thriving through adversity.
