What happens when we stop swimming against the current and allow life to show us where we truly belong? Martin Pollecoff, former chair of the UK Council of Psychotherapists, shares a fascinating journey that began in industrial Birmingham and wound through breakdown, transformation, and ultimately to becoming a gifted psychotherapist who helps others shape meaningful lives.
Growing up with undiagnosed dyslexia and constantly feeling misunderstood laid the foundation for Martin’s exceptional empathy. A pivotal moment came during his college breakdown, when a Marxist psychiatrist in a railway arch clinic offered life-changing advice: “You’re working very hard to be something you don’t want to be. Stop swimming against the stream. Float on your back and see what you’re attracting.” This single session transformed his perspective on authenticity and set him on a path of self-discovery.
The podcast explores Martin’s unique approach to psychotherapy, which he describes as “transpersonal” or “spiritual” – focusing not on techniques but on helping clients access their own inner resources. Through compelling stories, he demonstrates how he helps people find courage they didn’t know they possessed, including a young single mother who channeled her “inner Jordan” to stand up to relatives trying to take her inheritance. His philosophy that “there’s nothing that can be given to you that you haven’t already got” forms the cornerstone of his practice.
Perhaps most touching is Martin’s reflection on his own dragons – particularly fear of abandonment and failure – and how a recent heart operation brought him face-to-face with mortality. His conclusion that effective therapy isn’t about having all the answers, but about being a “wise companion” who brings authenticity, humor, and genuine care to those who need it, offers profound wisdom for anyone on a journey of personal growth.
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Presenter
Malcolm Stern has worked as a group and individual psychotherapist for more than 30 years. He was a co-founder of Alternatives at St James’s Church in London and runs groups internationally.
He is the author of Falling in Love / Staying in Love (Piatkus 2004) and Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020). He co-presented Channel 4’s relationship series, ‘Made for Each Other’ in 2003 and 2004 and sailed on the ‘Rainbow Warrior’ with Greenpeace in the 1980s. The book he is currently writing is an exploration of the shadow and its necessity in our evolutionary development.
To become equal to the dream sewn within us, our heart must break open and usually must break more than once. That’s why they say that the only heart worth having is a broken heart. For only in breaking can it open fully and reveal what is hidden within.” – Michael Meade
This is a series of podcasts based on the premise explored in Malcolm Stern’s acclaimed book of the same name, that adversity provides us with the capacity to develop previously unexplored depths and is , in effect , a crucible for self reflection and awareness. Malcolm lost his daughter Melissa to suicide in 2014. It slowly dawned on him over the following few years that he was being educated and an opportunity was being presented where new insights helped him forge a path through his grief and despair. As part of that cathartic journey, he wrote “ Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020 ) where he was able to describe some of the practices that had helped him shed light on a way through the darkness.
