Effective Anger Management Tools for Working with Men Workshops with James Hawes

Anger is a normal healthy emotion, neither good nor bad, although in today’s society anger...

Last updated 15 May 2024

Anger is a normal healthy emotion, neither good nor bad, although in today’s society anger often appears to be negative because of the unhealthy ways it is expressed. When anger takes centre stage, the danger is that people could lose the full expression of their emotions like the ability to express sadness, fear and love.

Man box masculinity has set certain benchmarks for what it means to be a man, failing to live up to this ‘male code’ can damage chances of belonging. These messages have been taught from birth with phrases such as ‘be strong’, ‘be tough’, ‘big boys don’t cry’, ‘you’re the man of the house’, ‘be a real man’, and ‘be a brave little soldier’. Most boys have had to learn how to survive by joining in with the game. This has often left men with a huge burden to prove that they are fit to belong to this dominant form of masculinity and to prevent any sense of ’weakness’. Anger is seen as a strong emotion and is often the only ‘safe’ emotion men are able to express.

The workshop will include:

  • Developing a greater understanding of the full spectrum of anger expression
  • Exploring the psychology of anger and the 5 states of anger
  • Learning the key roots of anger and rage
  • Practical therapeutic tools in working effectively with men and the different states of anger


James Hawes

I am a experienced psychotherapist and counsellor accredited and registered member of the British association for Counsellors and psychotherapists (BACP).

I presently work at the Nottingham High School as a Counsellor for two days a week. Previously I worked as an Independence school counsellor and for the Nottingham City behaviour support. This team worked with the most difficult and challenging students in the city and used innovative and therapeutic approaches in working effectively with this cohort.

I have facilitated groups on anger, self-esteem, confidence building using many methods that include drumming, mindfulness and bodywork. For the past 15 years I have developed my private practice, typically seeing between 10-15 clients a week and 95% of my clients are male. I deliver several workshops and talks with regard to working with men and boys. These include ‘7 tips one working successfully with men in therapy’ , ‘Effective anger management tools for working with men’ and ‘Working with men, intimacy and shame’.

I specialise in developing boys and men’s emotional fitness using psycho-educational tools, de-shaming and core conditions of the person Centred Approach. I also initiated the Men@work voluntary organisation, working to increase boys and men’s emotional fitness, establishing a programme called ‘Contact’ an outdoor and residential programme to help boys increase their emotional fitness.

I also developed SHOUT – a successful anger awareness programme for men. I have been part of a Men’s group for the past 15 years and am a father of two boys.

James is the author of, ‘The Secret Lives of Men – 10 keys to unlock the mystery

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