64
5
Helping Eleonora Develop Self-Love
for Christmas and Beyond
Date: 20/12/21
Time: 39 minutes 56 secs
Windy: So, Eleonora, what is your understanding of the purpose
of our conversation today?
Eleonora: To be honest, my understanding is that we’re going to
talk about an issue concerning Christmas and
loneliness.
Windy: Right, OK. And, so, by the end of the session, if you
were to reflect on the session and were pleased about
what you have achieved, what would you have achieved
by the end of the session? What would you hope to
achieve by the end of the session?
[As is typical in SST, as the emphasis is on what the
person wants to take away from the session, I ask about
this at the outset.]
Eleonora: I really don’t know. I’m not clear about what I’m hoping
to achieve because it’s not a therapeutic session exactly.
I think I’m facilitating some research here.
Windy: No, you’re not. It is a therapeutic session. So, therefore,
on the basis of that, I think we need to be clear about
what we are doing and what we’re not doing.
[Eleonora reveals that she is going to have a research
issue which is not the case. So, according to the
Helping Joy to Develop a Flexible Mindset 65
transparency principle of SST, I want to make clear at
the outset that this is a therapeutic session.]
Eleonora: OK.
Windy: I’m not interviewing you for the purposes of research.
My understanding is that I’m interviewing you with the
purpose of helping you therapeutically to deal with an
issue and that you’ve come for the session in the hope
of receiving some personal help.
Eleonora: This is what I was hoping as well, but then I thought
about this hour, what this hour can do, really,
therapeutically, knowing that it’s a very limited time.
[As Eleonora is a therapist, she is bringing to the
session her conventional therapeutic mindset: that there
is not much that can be done therapeutically in such a
short time.]
Windy: Well, that’s what single session therapy’s all about.
Eleonora: OK.
Windy: Utilising the time so that I can help you to take away
something that you would like to take away from, so
that you can put into practice or implement something
that will be helpful to you. So, on the basis of that, do
you still want to continue?
[In contrast to Eleonor’s conventional therapeutic
mindset, I articulate the single-session mindset and ask
her if she wants to continue on this basis. This highlights
the consensual nature of SST.]
Eleonora: Yes.
Windy: OK. So, why don’t you tell me the issue to do with
Christmas that you want to talk about?
transparency principle of SST, I want to make clear at
the outset that this is a therapeutic session.]
Eleonora: OK.
Windy: I’m not interviewing you for the purposes of research.
My understanding is that I’m interviewing you with the
purpose of helping you therapeutically to deal with an
issue and that you’ve come for the session in the hope
of receiving some personal help.
Eleonora: This is what I was hoping as well, but then I thought
about this hour, what this hour can do, really,
therapeutically, knowing that it’s a very limited time.
[As Eleonora is a therapist, she is bringing to the
session her conventional therapeutic mindset: that there
is not much that can be done therapeutically in such a
short time.]
Windy: Well, that’s what single session therapy’s all about.
Eleonora: OK.
Windy: Utilising the time so that I can help you to take away
something that you would like to take away from, so
that you can put into practice or implement something
that will be helpful to you. So, on the basis of that, do
you still want to continue?
[In contrast to Eleonor’s conventional therapeutic
mindset, I articulate the single-session mindset and ask
her if she wants to continue on this basis. This highlights
the consensual nature of SST.]
Eleonora: Yes.
Windy: OK. So, why don’t you tell me the issue to do with
Christmas that you want to talk about?
66 Single-Session Therapy in Action
Eleonora: OK. So ... there are two issues. One issue is that...
[pause] I made arrangements to not be on my own at
Christmas, but, in actual fact, in life I’m on my own.
Windy: Right. So, in life, you live alone?
Eleonora: Yeah. Sorry, I’m emotional about.
Windy: Sure.
Eleonora: Is that OK?
Windy: Of course.
Eleonora: That’s why I didn’t want this to become available in the
library.
[Eleonora is referring here to the video library of
Onlinevents.]
Windy: I understand.
Eleonora: OK. So, I’m divorced. I was in a marriage for 18 years.
I don’t have children. I come from Greece originally.
I’ve been living in this country for more years than I
lived in Greece, so for about 28 years now. ... And, a
year after selling my house and divorcing, going
through the divorce papers and everything,
unfortunately the pandemic started and I was in therapy
all the time, and I achieved a lot during the pandemic,
but the situation, the pandemic has affected me, because
I lost hope. The only thing I wanted in life was, I didn’t
want to have children necessarily, but I wanted to meet
love and have love in my life. So, the only thing I
wanted to achieve was to be able to love somebody and
for someone to love me back, and be together these
days. And I failed.
Eleonora: OK. So ... there are two issues. One issue is that...
[pause] I made arrangements to not be on my own at
Christmas, but, in actual fact, in life I’m on my own.
Windy: Right. So, in life, you live alone?
Eleonora: Yeah. Sorry, I’m emotional about.
Windy: Sure.
Eleonora: Is that OK?
Windy: Of course.
Eleonora: That’s why I didn’t want this to become available in the
library.
[Eleonora is referring here to the video library of
Onlinevents.]
Windy: I understand.
Eleonora: OK. So, I’m divorced. I was in a marriage for 18 years.
I don’t have children. I come from Greece originally.
I’ve been living in this country for more years than I
lived in Greece, so for about 28 years now. ... And, a
year after selling my house and divorcing, going
through the divorce papers and everything,
unfortunately the pandemic started and I was in therapy
all the time, and I achieved a lot during the pandemic,
but the situation, the pandemic has affected me, because
I lost hope. The only thing I wanted in life was, I didn’t
want to have children necessarily, but I wanted to meet
love and have love in my life. So, the only thing I
wanted to achieve was to be able to love somebody and
for someone to love me back, and be together these
days. And I failed.