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13
Final Reflections
In this closing chapter, I will present my final reflections on the
single-session conversations that appear in this book. My comments
will centre on the reflections offered by the volunteers that appear
at the end of Chapters 2–12. Each of the volunteers (all therapists
who signed up for a single session on their struggles over the
Christmas period) were invited to provide their reflections on their
particular session. In the letter of invitation, I wrote as follows:
‘Your reflection will go at the end of the chapter which will
contain the transcript of our session. I am happy for you to structure
the reflection in any way you wish. However, if you want some
suggestions, I think readers would be interested in what your
experience was in having the session with me, what you took from
the session and what difference it made to you.’
I was thus asking for their views on the process of the session
and its outcome. However, I also stressed that they were free to
reflect on the session in whatever way made most sense to them.
Outcome
Each of the volunteers provided their reflections of their particular
session about six months after the session itself. Sufficient time had
elapsed therefore for volunteers to gauge what difference the session
made to them if they chose to address this issue. Two volunteers
pointed to very specific things that they got from the session. Thus,
Jennie (Chapter 12) mentioned that the session gave her some tips
to employ in the future with her brother with whom she has a
difficult relationship and Eleonora (Chapter 5) pointed to a specific
technique known as the ‘Big I – Little I’ technique that I used with
her as being a catalyst for change in the session and later.
The rest of the volunteers’ comments about outcome can be
grouped into three broader themes: (i) achieving acceptance; (ii)
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adopting a difference stance towards self and (iii) making a positive
change in relation to the issue of ‘control’.
Achieving Acceptance
In my experience, achieving some measure of acceptance (e.g.
towards self, others(s), or some aspect of their life experience) is a
not infrequent outcome of a single session. In this book, three
volunteers pointed to the theme of achieving some form of
acceptance as the outcome of the session. Thus, Bridget (Chapter 2)
referred to her accepting the status quo as being helpful to her,
Sujatha (Chapter 7) commented that she was helped to accept the
fact that it was OK for her to grieve in her own way and Kate
(Chapter 4) remarked that she gained a greater acceptance of her
sister-in-law with whom she had an awkward relationship.
Adopting a Different Stance Towards Self
The point is often made by people new to single-session therapy
that what can be achieved by clients must inevitably be minor
and certainly it would be unreasonable to expect anyone to make
a significant shift in their stance towards themself. While that may
be the case in general, I have seen clients make such significant
shifts. Thus, concerning this theme, two volunteers did explicitly
mention making a constructive change in the stance that they took
towards themself. Sujatha (Chapter 7) reflected that the session
helped her to become at peace with herself and Rose (Chapter 9)
mentioned that the session helped her to make a deeper connection
with herself. It is noteworthy that Rose considered that for her the
session was ‘life changing’.
Making a Positive Change in Relation to the Issue of Control
In my experience of carrying out many single sessions, the theme of
‘control’ is often discussed as many people struggle to understand
what they are and what they are not in control of with respect to
themselves and important people in their lives. Here two volunteers
pointed to a change in their stance towards control as an outcome of
their single session. Sujatha (Chapter 7) mentioned that she no
longer punished herself for things that happened outside her control
adopting a difference stance towards self and (iii) making a positive
change in relation to the issue of ‘control’.
Achieving Acceptance
In my experience, achieving some measure of acceptance (e.g.
towards self, others(s), or some aspect of their life experience) is a
not infrequent outcome of a single session. In this book, three
volunteers pointed to the theme of achieving some form of
acceptance as the outcome of the session. Thus, Bridget (Chapter 2)
referred to her accepting the status quo as being helpful to her,
Sujatha (Chapter 7) commented that she was helped to accept the
fact that it was OK for her to grieve in her own way and Kate
(Chapter 4) remarked that she gained a greater acceptance of her
sister-in-law with whom she had an awkward relationship.
Adopting a Different Stance Towards Self
The point is often made by people new to single-session therapy
that what can be achieved by clients must inevitably be minor
and certainly it would be unreasonable to expect anyone to make
a significant shift in their stance towards themself. While that may
be the case in general, I have seen clients make such significant
shifts. Thus, concerning this theme, two volunteers did explicitly
mention making a constructive change in the stance that they took
towards themself. Sujatha (Chapter 7) reflected that the session
helped her to become at peace with herself and Rose (Chapter 9)
mentioned that the session helped her to make a deeper connection
with herself. It is noteworthy that Rose considered that for her the
session was ‘life changing’.
Making a Positive Change in Relation to the Issue of Control
In my experience of carrying out many single sessions, the theme of
‘control’ is often discussed as many people struggle to understand
what they are and what they are not in control of with respect to
themselves and important people in their lives. Here two volunteers
pointed to a change in their stance towards control as an outcome of
their single session. Sujatha (Chapter 7) mentioned that she no
longer punished herself for things that happened outside her control